Birth Order
Even though I dislike forwards, got this today and thought it was funny :)
THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
>
> Your Clothes:
> 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
>confirms your pregnancy.
> 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
> 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
>______________________________________________________
> Preparing for the Birth:
> 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
> 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
>breathing didn't do a thing.
> 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
> ______________________________________________________
> The Layette:
> 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and
>fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
> 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard
>only the ones with the darkest stains.
> 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
> ______________________________________________________
> Worries:
> 1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper,
> a frown-you pick up the baby.
> 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails
> threaten to wake your firstborn.
> 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how
> to rewind the mechanical swing.
> ____________________________________________________
> Pacifier:
> 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor,
> you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
> 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor,
> you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
> 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
> ______________________________________________________
> Diapering:
> 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
> whether they need it or not.
> 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours,
> if needed.
> 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain
>about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
> ______________________________________________________
> Activities:
> 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics,
> Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
> 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
> 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket
> and the dry cleaner.
> ______________________________________________________
> Going Out:
> 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
> you call home five times.
> 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
>number where you can be reached.
> 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call
> only if she sees blood.
> ______________________________________________________
> At Home:
> 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day
> just gazing at the baby.
> 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
>child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
> 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day
> hiding from the children.
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
> 1st child: When first child swallows a coin,
> you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
> 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin,
> you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
> 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his
>allowance!
9:08 PM
